I
used to give my mother-in-law a hard time because the first part of the
newspaper she looked at every morning was the obituaries. I haven’t adopted that habit, but now that I
have reached the stage in life where being referred to as middle-aged is a
compliment, it doesn’t seem quite as amusing.
Recently
I saw that the father of a former student had passed away. A classical guitarist who had immigrated to
the United States to receive a kidney transplant, he seemed to be on death’s
doorstep 20 years ago, so I was surprised that he had lived this long.
Seeing
his obituary made me recall my proudest counseling moment. His son was bright,
strong-willed, and rebellious, and his junior year could have inspired a soap
opera or reality show. He chafed under
rules and expectations that were minimal, scored high enough on the PSAT to be
a National Merit Semifinalist but didn’t have grades to match, shaved his head
for shock effect, and in late January disappeared for a week. It turned out he was visiting a girl at a
college in the Midwest.
During
the last month of school he was convicted of back-to-back honor offenses. Both could be categorized as stupid rather
than deceitful, but at St. Christopher’s the Honor System is the foundation
underpinning everything that happens at the School, the line you don’t cross,
and an upperclassman with multiple offenses is in deep trouble. Both the faculty and his peers were at the
end of their ropes, and the Honor Council recommended expulsion.
The
Headmaster consulted me before acting on the recommendation. We agreed that the boy wasn’t a bad kid, just
immature and stuck in a bad home situation.
At the same time, it wasn’t in his or the community’s best interest to
remain. We finally arrived at a creative
solution—either expel him or get him into college early.
And
that’s what happened. A good
liberal-arts college (the same one he had visited for a week in January) was
willing to offer him admission without a high-school diploma. We didn’t expel him, he was accepted to
college early, and four years later he graduated with honors, after which he
wrote me the kind of thank-you note I’ve received only rarely in my
career. It meant even more because of
the back story.
A
guiding principle in ethics is “Treat like cases alike.” The challenge, of course, is that rarely are
two cases alike. Every ethical dilemma
brings with it a unique combination of circumstances and considerations and
requires its own calculus. That calculus
must balance the interests of the individual with those of the community, as
well as balancing justice with mercy.
Rarely is it possible to find a solution that accomplishes both, which
is what made the previous case so satisfying.
I
have been thinking about the interplay between justice and mercy recently
thanks to one of last year’s seniors. He
was an excellent student and school citizen who early last fall came down with
a mysterious malady that ended up taking away most of his senior year. He couldn’t sleep or hold down food and
quickly fell way behind academically. He
went to numerous doctors and received numerous diagnoses and treatments, but
none made him better.
By
the end of September it was clear that the best case scenario was a significant
drop in grades, and he decided to apply Early Decision to college so that
senior year grades would not come into play.
I was okay with that approach, given that he was a strong candidate for
a school he wanted to attend, but I cautioned him and his family that the
college would need to be made aware of his situation eventually.
The
challenge of the school year, and especially the senior year, is that you can’t
call time out and stop the clock.
Christmas break offers one of the only concentrated periods of time when
a student might catch up after falling behind.
When January arrived, the student’s health issues remained serious and
undiagnosed, it was clear that he would only be able to complete two of his first
semester classes, and we knew that we had to, in the words of my GPS,
“Recalculate.” The good news was that he
was in college.
As
a school we were trying to be sensitive and supportive of the boy and his
family, but the situation raised some difficult practical and philosophical
questions. What should we do about the
courses he wasn’t physically able to complete?
Is earning a high school diploma about earning a minimal number of
credits or about a certain quality of experience? What was our duty to the student, and what
was our responsibility to the college he wanted to attend? If Woody Allen is correct that 90% of life is
showing up, what happens when you can’t even do that on a regular basis?
I
struggled to sort out my ethical obligations.
In any ethical dilemma, there are multiple duties involved. The philosopher W.D. Ross argued that ethical
duties arise from relationships, and that every relationship carries with it
what he calls a prima facie (or first
glance) duty. In this case I had a duty
to the student. I also had a duty to my
school, I had a duty to the college, I had a duty to the profession, and I had
a duty to my core values as an individual.
Unfortunately Ross only tells you how to identify possible duties, not
how to choose among them.
It
wasn’t until March that doctors at the Mayo Clinic diagnosed the student as
having postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS). Having a diagnosis and knowing that it was
treatable and not chronic was a relief for everyone, but finding the right
combination and dosage levels of medications remained a challenge, and hopes
for being able to come to school on a regular basis proved overly optimistic.
As
a school we were trying to do the right thing, balancing mercy and
justice. The family didn’t want to
consider a repeat senior year. The college
said they would allow him to come if I/we certified that he was ready. How could I do that, when he wasn’t healthy
enough to come to school more than a period a day and would finish his senior
year with 1.5 credits? At the same time,
he hadn’t chosen to get sick, and an important moral principle is that you can’t
judge or punish someone for things they haven’t chosen.
He
finished the school year one-half credit shy of the minimum number required to
graduate. We allowed him to walk at
graduation, and gave him two options for earning a diploma. He could take an on-line course during the
summer to get the final credit or we would give him a diploma at the end of his
first semester in college. Of course the
family didn’t like either option, and asked us to give him academic credit for
therapy he did at the Mayo Clinic during the month of July.
The
student started college a week ago. He
seems healthy and ready, but he has also essentially missed a year of
school. I don’t know that we achieved
either mercy or justice, and I don’t know that we came up with the “right”
answer. Sometimes an okay answer has to
be good enough.